endings, beginnings, beginnings.

Ha. Remember back in May when I was all, "Wow, when summer camp ends this year, an external baby will be imminent"? Yeah. Camp ends in two days. TWO DAYS. Then it's four weeks to go, give or take - but hopefully right around four weeks, because two weeks sounds terrifying and six weeks sounds never-ending.

The days are slipping away, marked only by perfunctory task achievements, new bodily discomforts, and a creeping sense that I ought to start preparing for an actual baby. I mean, sure, we've been preparing: the nursery is coming along, we're stockpiling essentials (thanks mostly to ridiculously generous family and friends), we even went to a breastfeeding class last weekend. Still, there are some glaring omissions. Like maybe we should buy some diapers. And solidify my maternity leave. And decide on a name, or at least a short list of names. And learn a little about newborns?

Bah. I'm doing best functioning hour by hour, tidbit by tidbit, list by list. In that vein, here's where I am these days.

• 35 weeks. Had one of my once-every-four-weeks spells of crushing exhaustion this past weekend. I think they coincide with Baby's growth spurts. This time, I was smart about it and gave into it more quickly, allowing myself to rest and chill. I'm finally figuring this pregnancy thing out! ...Now that it's almost done, anyway.
• Trusting that my body is preparing for the birth. The sensation that my pubic bone is splitting apart every time I (a) bend over, (b) turn over in bed, or (c) walk - that's normal, right? And it won't actually split...right? Okay, so "trust" is a strong word.
• Not trusting that I know my own dimensions anymore. Because I don't. My magical innards better be durable, so as to help Baby withstand the constant pokes, scrapes, and bumps against my belly as I run into things. Chairs. Bathroom stall doors. My own arms. Also, what the hell - maternity shirts don't always cover the underside of my belly anymore? If they don't, what does?! (Answer: muumuus. Why aren't those in fashion anymore?)
• Clumsiness, best evidenced by the huge bruises on my left arm and the fetus-sized bump on my shin from slipping and falling as I (drum roll, please) walked through a doorway. Thankfully, my shin took the brunt of the fall, as opposed to my belly. Felt quite sure for about 20 minutes that an epidural might come in handy during pregnancy as well as labor.
• Survived the summer, heat waves, cold fronts, extra job responsibilities and all. Also made it through camp without outgrowing the maternity bathing suit I wear almost every afternoon...holla! I even beat some 10-year-olds playing Categories in the deep end of the pool yesterday (and then had some Braxton Hickseseses to pay for it. Totally worth it).
• Anxiety: Kept in check...minus one episode a couple nights ago, when I woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep because of All The Thoughts. I can't even remember what most of them were, other than "I think the baby is breech" and "I need more stamps," but apparently, they were fascinating enough to eat away an hour and a half of precious sleep. Had to reinstate my rule of No Thinking In the Middle of the Night, Cathy.
• Getting it done. Namely, my ever-growing list of general things I want/need to get done before the baby comes - order new glasses (did you know some hospitals won't let you wear contacts during labor...and my glasses broke awhile back?), get my oil changed four months ago, finish the back yard fence, sign up for a birthing class, stockpile stamps, order nursery fabrics, get the bathroom fan installed, fix the stupid kitchen trash can, install the car seat bases, finish the baby's bookshelves, do a load of baby laundry (crib sheets, some blankets, the going-home outfit), recycle all those stupid CFLs that burned out after we moved in....Just gotta take it one by one. I guess.

At least some things are off the lists now. Pictures/posts to come about my door-painting project, nursery progress, back yard plans, and our third anniversary (slash, our maternity photo shoot). And there are only about five more of these to post after tonight:

32 weeks, 4 days

33 weeks, 2 days

34 weeks, 4 days

Now off to watch this week's "Newsroom" episode. Again, remember a few months ago when I was all, "Wow, when this season of 'Newsroom' and 'Dexter' end, it'll be time to pop out a child"? YEAH. Endings, leading to beginnings, leading to who knows what...

the little things.

Know what's totally beautiful, jam-packed with spirit, and pretty much magical? Beaver Island, Michigan. Know who went there for five days and took zero (0) pictures? Yeah, me. But in my (weak) defense, I'd never been so focused on...not focusing. On doing nothing. On being present with myself, with J.J., and with our friends and their kids who were there with us. On soaking up these last weeks before Baby comes.

Part of the magic was in the fact that it was about 60 degrees and cloudy/rainy nearly every day we were there. Yep, for our beach vacation, a.k.a. our last kid-free vacation together. Oops. Really, though, once we added a few layers of clothing? The magic revealed itself in the simple things. In a secluded, pristine beach house with lake access and a hammock. In the local toy museum. In afternoon naps. In rounding the street corner on your bike and being slapped with a full-frontal view of Lake Michigan sparkling in the evanescent sunlight. In nicknaming our baby girl, whom I sat around watching move all over my belly. In roasting marshmallows and hot dogs ("not-dogs" for me) over a fire that was also necessary for warmth. In speeding back to the house from the ice cream shop to beat a vicious thunderstorm. In my favorite sandwich ever - garden veggies, hummus, artichokes, and gouda on dill bread - available daily at one of the (two?) restaurants on the island. In shave ice eaten on the dock. In board games and snack-bingeing after the kids were in bed. In swings on the beach. In everyone pitching in with the cooking and the cleaning and the kid-wrangling. And, of course, in the fact that I made it through a four-hour car ride, a two-hour ferry ride, and a three-mile bike ride while almost eight months pregnant without wanting to die and sleep and get an epidural for upper back/butt pain. The little things...

When the forecast called for sunshine and 75 degrees the day we were supposed to leave, we spontaneously decided to stay an extra day. I'm so glad we did! We soaked up the sun, played outside, and hiked some sand dunes. Unbeknownst to me, J.J. snapped a faraway photo of me on top of the dunes - one that will have to suffice as my bump silhouette of the week, since I wasn't home to take my usual picture.

Grainy, but it's there! 31 weeks, 2 days.

So, inspired by our laid-back vacay, this post is dedicated to a few little things - namely, the little things happening around the house. You know all that crap you want to get done, but never really get around to? Well, apparently nesting inspires a now-or-never attitude that may be defeatist, in a way (considering that yes, you CAN actually get stuff done after you have a baby), but hey, whatever works.

For example...

:: I finally got around to adding a softer edge to the hearth in the family room. The black tile is pretty, but the edge was deadly sharp, especially adjacent to slippery hardwood floors (that have no rug because I can't. Make. Rug. Choices.). Plus, the corner of the tile always dug into the back of the couch. I actually had an old canvas frame propped there as a buffer for years - YEARS - because I was too lazy to find rubber edges to soften it up. Well, when J.J. and I went to register for baby schtuff, I saw this black rubber childproofing edging that seemed perfect. And it is! It blends right in and hasn't fallen off yet. We'll see how it holds up to prying mobile-infant hands, but for now, it's a win.

:: Also in the family room, and also on my to-do list for literally years, and ALSO a hazard of not having a rug - I bought better pads for the chair legs. I'd had to double up on the ones pictured below because they always found a way to slip off after a few chair uses. I thought there was no other solution and had resigned myself to nasty, ineffective pads that harbored dust and hairballs. Enter new pads that fit right over the end of the leg, which look miles better and will hopefully hold up over time without attracting quite so much disgusting debris.

Gross.

Better!

:: I'm replacing the knobs on our changing table with some cute ones I found on Etsy. Unfortunately, the knobs didn't come threaded - meaning I had to use full force to drive the screws in for the first time. Most of the screws cooperated, but I may or may not have a Phillips-head-shaped puncture wound in my hand from a little slip.

Hint: I do. I do have a Phillips-head-shaped puncture wound in my hand.

:: Okay, not a home improvement project, but this guy deserves a shout-out in a post about recognizing the little things. It's the water bottle my sister gave me on our trip to Chicago that we took two days after I discovered I was pregnant. I'm not generally a huge water drinker, but during my first trimester, I was constantly thirsty. As both my pregnancy and the summer progress, it's super important to stay hydrated. This water bottle is BPA-free, fits in my car cup holder and my backpack's side pocket, has a handy straw so I don't have to tip it upside down to drink, and helps me keep track of how much water I've had throughout the day. Nothing but love. (I believe it's from a three-pack of identical water bottles from Costco.)

:: I don't have pictures yet, and it's NOT a little project, but J.J. and his dad have been hard at work installing a fence in our back yard. We're not really fence people, but once our natural border was chopped down in an attempt to minimize the invasive species in our neighboring park, we figured it was time. Plus, it'll be helpful to keep tiny offspring corralled in the yard - and random pooping dogs out of the yard. So picture this scene with a wooden fence behind the shed:

:: Lastly, I woke up this past Saturday morning with a wide-open weekend stretching in front of me and randomly thought, "Hey! Why not take on a project that I've wanted to do forever, but have been procrastinating?" I'll save the full rundown for a future post, but here's a sneak peek of before and after in the upstairs hallway...

So, yeah! Those are just a few of the things happening chez moi these days. I also have a handyman coming over on Thursday to tackle some other long-needed little fixes:

• Adjusting our pull-out kitchen garbage can, which doesn't close properly
• Re-caulking the bathtub, which I could totally do on my own, but I figure eight months pregnant is not the time to be spending a few hours around mold and caulk fumes
• Tightening the outlets in the nursery, which I can't seem to fix on my own
• And a biggie - installing fans in both of our bathrooms - woot!!

It feels damn good to get these things taken care of, and to cross things off an ever-expanding to-do list. Now, if someone could just get my oil changed and find new glasses for me...

three-quarters, part two.

So the nursery is three-quarters of the way done, but guess what else is?

Yep! The babe. That's her, two weeks ago. For those of you who have trouble interpreting ultrasound pictures, that's her head and chest - facial profile looking upwards. (Try explaining that to my father-in-law, because I did. And failed.) 

I'm 30 weeks and change now, which seems unreal. I can tell I'm starting to get closer to the end, though, because I have a million little reminders every single day.

1. My co-preggos are starting to pop. A cluster of my friends, my co-workers, and - yes - celebrities have been pregnant at the same time as me, and one by one, they're squeezing out babies. On the one hand, this is really comforting: Here are women I've spoken with personally (well, not so much Princesses Kim and Kate, but, you know) about the triumphs, trials, and tribulations of pregnancy, and they've made it to the other side. That's encouraging! On the other hand, I distinctly remember thinking during my first trimester that I would know I was getting close when this person or that person gave birth...and it's staaartinggg. Yikes.

2. Certain decisions have (finally) been made - like registries, birth classes, and child care arrangements. Naturally, since there's still a good chunk of time left, other decisions are lingering, such as whether or not we can actually afford the child care arrangements we've made, and the small matter of a name for this new human being. If only celeb babies (ahem, NORTH and GEORGE) would stop stealing my top name contenders... (Kidding; I have no name contenders right now.)

3. I started counting down the weeks instead of counting them up. That just started a few days ago, when I realized I have roughly 10 weeks to go. 

4. I've officially hit the stage where something is always slightly uncomfortable. Really, I've loved being pregnant so far, and I know - and am constantly grateful - that I've had a pretty easy time of it. The last two weeks or so, though, random discomforts have emerged, and I can't say I'm super fond of them. My left shoulder blade hurts every time I eat (gas? Heartburn? Stomach being shoved into my shoulder blade? I dunno). If I slouch at all, my whole upper back seizes up. If I'm out in the raging summer heat and sunshine for more than about an hour, I start feeling sick (not so good, considering I spend every afternoon - and some mornings - outside for work). I keep losing most of my hearing in my right ear, which got severe enough (including dizziness, nausea, and disorientation) that I actually saw a doctor about it; his oh-so-helpful prescription was to wait a few months and then give birth, which will relieve the swelling and fluid retention that are causing the hearing loss. THX DR. I've also been having mild contractions, which don't hurt; they're just annoying, and they make me feel like my insides might...fall out or something, you know, NBD. I'm definitely in the pee-all-the-time stage, which doesn't help with sleeping, which was already disrupted by the can't-roll-over-without-waking-up-and-consciously-planning-how-to stage. My sciatic nerve likes to remind me of its presence for about an hour a day. And there are other awesome pregnancy presents that not everyone will mention, but pretty much everyone gets them, so what the hell? Hemorrhoids, milk leakage, and...other fun leakage. Just once, but HOORAY.

5. I'm starting to think less about pregnancy and think more about birth. I procrastinated signing up for a birthing class, so I may end up missing some of the four-week class that I finally registered for, considering it overlaps with my due date. Whatever - the baby's coming (and likely after my due date, anyway), whether I know how to visualize and breeeeathe or not. But I did realize that once the pregnancy is over, we will, with any luck, have a baby to raise. Yeah. Minor detail. Forgot about that side effect of pregnancy for a while there.

6. And the biggest daily reminder that things are progressing? The mirror. Or in this case, the camera.

26 weeks

27 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks

30 weeks

Thankfully, everything seems to be progressing well. My blood pressure and weight gain are good, and I'm getting used to the shock (emotional and physical) of being almost 20 pounds heavier than I'm used to. Everything went well with the extra ultrasound - the umbilical cord implanted in a good spot, Baby is in the 60th percentile for growth, and there aren't any placental ventricles covering the cervix (which could have caused hemorrhaging when my water broke). The ultrasound doctor guy even mentioned that all other mammals, besides humans, have the kind of placenta that I have - that is, bilobed. Only humans have a boring pancake placenta. Then he cleared his throat and said, "Please don't call my office in a rage, complaining that I called you 'less than human,' okay? It's just a fun anthropological fact." Love it! He cracked me up, which I appreciate in a doctor who surely has to deliver crappy/nebulous news to anxious parents all the time. Obviously, the best part of the extra ultrasound was getting to watch the baby move around again, which is always awesome and reassuring. (Ultrasound tech: "So, looks like she's sitting on your bladder..." MM-HMM THANKS YEP.) Of course, these days, I can sit and watch the exterior show of my belly bulging out with a head or a bottom here and there - surreal, crazy, amazing. The other night, I was reading in bed and put my book down for a minute on my belly while I reached for something, and J.J. was able to see the book move in waves as the baby rolled around inside! Just. Plain. Incredible.

Three-quarters - not a bad place to be, in my opinion. I'm still enjoying being pregnant, and I don't mind waiting a few more months to meet this little girl of mine. Although...it's pretty frightening to think about what my belly will look like three months from now. After all, here's a side-by-side comparison of the difference three months can make:

That's 18 weeks and 30 weeks. How is it possible that the baby still has most of her growing to do?! Picture me gazing vacantly past my computer in a terrified fog of OMG MY BELLY MIGHT EXPLODE BEFORE OCTOBER. Please, belly...don't explode. Because ugh, mess, etc. 

three-quarters, part one.

Three-quarters of the way done.

With the nursery, with the pregnancy. Let's just process that for a minute.

Aaand processing over. Let's check out the nursery for now, since that occupies roughly three-quarters of my mind at any given moment. Truth: I may be a more dedicated room-remodeler than belly-grower...but whatever. Working on this room is just so much fun (she said, after agonizing [a relative term] over fabrics all afternoon). 

Here's where we are with The Crib:

Coming along, eh? Although, disclaimer: That chair is a placeholder for a glider that is on its way. It's the most uncomfortable chair ever, one that I purchased on a whim during freshman year of college and for some stupid reason haven't been able to part with. It's usually in our bedroom, but I wanted to test out dimensions, etc., so it's chilling in the nursery for the time being. Hopefully, the glider will get here soon and the butterfly chair will return to its grand purpose of holding all of our dirty clothes, which are obviously so much easier to throw on the chair than in the hamper. ANYWAY. As you can see in the above pic, the changing table is set to go (minus the, uh, changing pad); we put the crib together (first moment of HOLY CRAP A BABY WILL SLEEP HERE panic); and I found a storage ottoman, floor lamp, and some cute Homegoods picture frames. Also...

...the rug was delivered (although it still needs to flatten out and air out), and J.J. installed a new ceiling light to replace the old, ugly black porch light that used to be there. Side note: the light bulbs for the ceiling light each cost the same amount as the fixture itself ($12.99). No joke.

The other side of the room has gotten some attention, too, having gone from this:

To this:

I finished painting the closet (Benjamin Moore's Blue Seafoam), and I added this shelving unit from Ikea, along with three turquoise fabric bins from Target on the top shelf. Actually, this picture is from a few days ago - now there's a clothing rod and some hangers, too.

What's left at this point? Well, I'm going to make some rain gutter bookshelves - a couple on the dead wall next to the closet, since the door swings open onto that wall and nothing else can really go there, and a couple on the wall on the other side of the door. I'm still hunting down the perfect lamp for the changing table, as well as some cute art and mobile options, which may end up being DIY/may end up being purchased through Etsy or something. I also still need to decide on fabrics for the crib skirt, window curtains, and closet curtain. Current top contenders (the list changes weekly daily hourly) include:

Those three are all from joann.com, but the top one - my long-standing fave - was discontinued while I wavered back and forth. Sad face. 

But moving on...

The lime in this one (from here) looks sort of obnoxious here, but it looks better on the website - who knows how it would actually look in person? Either way, Mamatots, A.K.A. the Fabric Genius, was able to hunt down a more affordable version of it, so it's still in the running. But then this afternoon I found a few other potentials...

(For the window curtains, from here)

(For the crib skirt and closet curtain, from here)

(Another crib skirt/closet curtain option, from here)

Definitely riding the struggle wave in terms of picking out fabric, but at least I'm starting to narrow it down. By widening the field of options? I don't know - it feels like I'm getting close, anyway! 

Speaking of getting close, summer camp - and summer in general - is officially halfway over. In my head, when camp ends, birth is imminent. ZOINKS. I mean, to be real, the birth could still be four to six weeks AFTER camp ends, but still! This is partially why I channel my energy into the nursery; it just seems a tad bit more manageable than a newborn...who turns into a toddler, a preschooler, and grade schooler, a tween, AND BEYOND. Plus, it's just fun to watch progress like this:

Ta-da! What can I say...I love watching (and making) things change like that!

(Stay tuned for Part Two, featuring other things that are three-quarters of the way finished - namely, the belly and the baby!)