:: return of light: dear baby...aka, the one with the last silhouette picture.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

dear baby...aka, the one with the last silhouette picture.

Dear Baby,

Tomorrow, we'll meet face-to-face. Or face-to-boob, whatever. You may not know this, but we've been waiting for you - not just for the last nine months, but really, for our whole lives. I can only imagine what you'll look like, what your temperament will be, what you'll be passionate about, and what will make you tick...but I promise to learn.

That's you in July - 28 weeks old.

Actually, that's a promise I'll try to keep for the rest of my life: to learn about you. In the beginning, when it comes to the basics, we'll have to learn together, since I've never done this before. I figure one step at a time is the best method, combined with listening to my instincts, listening to your daddy, and listening to the voice in my head that whispers, "Throw your expectations out the window and let her teach you." As you get older, you'll have to keep teaching me. All I can do is keep learning, keep loving.

Your daddy & mama. Always well-intentioned.

It'll be hard sometimes. I'm not an easy person. I guess most people aren't, when you really get to know them - or when you have to spend the majority of your waking hours with them. But I promise to try to be the best mama I can be for you, and to forgive myself when I fall short.

There are so many things I'm so excited for you to experience. Saturday afternoon naps. Snow days. A celebrity crush. That movie you've seen a million times. Your favorite book. The vibrancy of early June. A much-needed vacation. The first time you eat produce from your own garden. Christmas lights. Mountains, oceans, rivers. Water gun fights. School-supply shopping. A nail-biting season finale. Your favorite jeans. That feeling of, "How does this writer just get me?" Roller coasters. Reinventing yourself. Moments of sheer gratitude. Landing THE job. Crying over a sappy storyline. Saving up for something. The teacher who changes your life. The restaurant where you're a regular. Sleeping with the windows open. Honeycrisp apples. When your heart swells (...figuratively), especially on someone else's behalf. Getting swooped up in a trend. Bucking the trend. The magic, the precision, the power of language. Best friends. Road trips. Creating cathartic art. Knowing you look great in that shirt, or in that picture, or before you go out. Front row to see your favorite band. Making your mark. Swinging, singing, laughing until you cry. A (temporary) video game obsession. Being moved to tears by a painting. Passion. Family. Kindness.