Tuesday, August 27, 2013

endings, beginnings, beginnings.

Ha. Remember back in May when I was all, "Wow, when summer camp ends this year, an external baby will be imminent"? Yeah. Camp ends in two days. TWO DAYS. Then it's four weeks to go, give or take - but hopefully right around four weeks, because two weeks sounds terrifying and six weeks sounds never-ending.

The days are slipping away, marked only by perfunctory task achievements, new bodily discomforts, and a creeping sense that I ought to start preparing for an actual baby. I mean, sure, we've been preparing: the nursery is coming along, we're stockpiling essentials (thanks mostly to ridiculously generous family and friends), we even went to a breastfeeding class last weekend. Still, there are some glaring omissions. Like maybe we should buy some diapers. And solidify my maternity leave. And decide on a name, or at least a short list of names. And learn a little about newborns?

Bah. I'm doing best functioning hour by hour, tidbit by tidbit, list by list. In that vein, here's where I am these days.

  • 35 weeks. Had one of my once-every-four-weeks spells of crushing exhaustion this past weekend. I think they coincide with Baby's growth spurts. This time, I was smart about it and gave into it more quickly, allowing myself to rest and chill. I'm finally figuring this pregnancy thing out! ...Now that it's almost done, anyway.
  • Trusting that my body is preparing for the birth. The sensation that my pubic bone is splitting apart every time I (a) bend over, (b) turn over in bed, or (c) walk - that's normal, right? And it won't actually split...right? Okay, so "trust" is a strong word.
  • Not trusting that I know my own dimensions anymore. Because I don't. My magical innards better be durable, so as to help Baby withstand the constant pokes, scrapes, and bumps against my belly as I run into things. Chairs. Bathroom stall doors. My own arms. Also, what the hell - maternity shirts don't always cover the underside of my belly anymore? If they don't, what does?! (Answer: muumuus. Why aren't those in fashion anymore?)
  • Clumsiness, best evidenced by the huge bruises on my left arm and the fetus-sized bump on my shin from slipping and falling as I (drum roll, please) walked through a doorway. Thankfully, my shin took the brunt of the fall, as opposed to my belly. Felt quite sure for about 20 minutes that an epidural might come in handy during pregnancy as well as labor.
  • Survived the summer, heat waves, cold fronts, extra job responsibilities and all. Also made it through camp without outgrowing the maternity bathing suit I wear almost every afternoon...holla! I even beat some 10-year-olds playing Categories in the deep end of the pool yesterday (and then had some Braxton Hickseseses to pay for it. Totally worth it).
  • Anxiety: Kept in check...minus one episode a couple nights ago, when I woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep because of All The Thoughts. I can't even remember what most of them were, other than "I think the baby is breech" and "I need more stamps," but apparently, they were fascinating enough to eat away an hour and a half of precious sleep. Had to reinstate my rule of No Thinking In the Middle of the Night, Cathy.
  • Getting it done. Namely, my ever-growing list of general things I want/need to get done before the baby comes - order new glasses (did you know some hospitals won't let you wear contacts during labor...and my glasses broke awhile back?), get my oil changed four months ago, finish the back yard fence, sign up for a birthing class, stockpile stamps, order nursery fabrics, get the bathroom fan installed, fix the stupid kitchen trash can, install the car seat bases, finish the baby's bookshelves, do a load of baby laundry (crib sheets, some blankets, the going-home outfit), recycle all those stupid CFLs that burned out after we moved in....Just gotta take it one by one. I guess.

At least some things are off the lists now. Pictures/posts to come about my door-painting project, nursery progress, back yard plans, and our third anniversary (slash, our maternity photo shoot). And there are only about five more of these to post after tonight:

32 weeks, 4 days
33 weeks, 2 days
34 weeks, 4 days

Now off to watch this week's "Newsroom" episode. Again, remember a few months ago when I was all, "Wow, when this season of 'Newsroom' and 'Dexter' end, it'll be time to pop out a child"? YEAH. Endings, leading to beginnings, leading to who knows what...

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