for myself.

Dear Cathy,


Happy birthday! Here's your to-do list for the day:

• Sleep in. It's the only thing you wanted for your birthday, other than a phone upgrade. J.J. will grab Rowan as soon as she starts calling from her crib and whisk her downstairs. Roll over, turn off your brain, and go back to sleep, okay?

• Take the morning off. Yes, you'd love to take Rowan to that play at Wild Swan Theatre this morning, but she and J.J. will have a great time. And you could use a morning without a toddler yelling, "I don't NEEEEED help, I don't NEEEEED help...MAMA, HELLLLLP!" Stay in bed, eat your birthday cinnamon rolls there, peruse Facebook, drift off, read a book, drift off again.

• And take the morning off psychologically, too. I know. I know you're struggling. I know you cried when the birthday card in the mail was just from Dad and not Mom, too. I know you wonder every single day what to do about getting a job. I know you feel guilty that J.J. doesn't get to spend as much time with Rowan as you do. I know you're worried about everything, right down to worrying about how much you worry. Forget about that shit today. It'll still be there tomorrow.

• Bathe in gratitude for your healthy body. It's been on your mind a lot lately, how amazing it is to have a working body. Feet that walk, legs that stretch, hands that clap, arms that carry, a heart that beats. No full-body rashes or lymphoma scares for you this past year - woohoo! And yes, you ought to take purposeful care of it; after all, you're getting older (OMG 35), and you want this body to work for you, your kids, your grandkids, and their kids. You know the routine...exercise, eat less sugar, meditate, create. Today, though, reference the above: sleeping in, cinnamon rolls.

• Speaking of bathing...how about a nice warm bubble bath? Sounds good, yeah?

• Buy yourself a birthday present. You've been wanting that new Elizabeth Gilbert book. Get it! Wouldn't it be great to read it while soaking in that bubble bath?! And I gotta tell you, anything that fuels your creative self (your essential self) is worth the money right now. Truly.

• Hug that baby. Squeeze her and kiss her and tell her you love her so much, every day, all the time, because she's your baby; and then squeeze her some more while she squeals, "I not a baby! I'm a TODD-LOH!" Hug that baby daddy, too, while you're at it. He's a good one.

That's plenty for one birthday. Happiest of days to you.

Love, sincerely --


P.S. Oh, and get some Thai food tonight...your favorite potato-tofu curry. Hell yeah.