Friday, March 10, 2017

change is good, right?

It's crazy how fast things are changing with this pregnancy. I feel like I just got past the point of feeling sick and adjusting to the idea that I'm even pregnant, and bam - next week, I'll be in the third trimester. Unreal. I'm still in the sweet spot of feeling good and energetic, but I can tell I'm slowing down. I don't think I started slowing down with my first pregnancy until the very last month. Granted, things were so different then - I spent every morning traipsing around town with groups of summer campers, and every afternoon swimming with them. I'm so much more stationary these days, and it's not helping anything. In fact, I took a bunch of walks/jogs the other week when the weather was so gorgeous here, and they were awesome. Instead of wiping me out, they boosted my energy. Unfortunately, following this week's epic windstorm in southeast Michigan, it's freezing again - like, down to ten degrees tonight - and isn't supposed to warm up for awhile. Kind of a problem, considering it's getting harder to, you know, tie my shoes and zip my winter coat.

Baby seems to be doing great. His movements are intense! I think he's still small enough that he can really wiggle around in there. Twenty-seven weeks (which is what I am now) is when Rowan snuggled into her breech position...and never shifted. Don't get me wrong, she still wiggled and bumped and kicked. Trust me, I'll never forget the feeling of being kicked in the ass from the inside. But aside from trying to stretch out lengthwise across my belly right before she was born (ouuuch), she stayed breech for the entire final trimester. Either way, hard to say, but I think this babe is still rolling around in there. I feel round head or bottom lumps on all different parts of my belly. It probably helps that my uterus is more stretched out this time than it was with Rowan. 

Speaking of stretched out...I somehow got away with only a couple minor stretch marks the first time, right above my bellybutton. They weren't even noticeable after a couple months. Well, those stretch marks are...stretching. And it sucks. They itch. They hurt. And as much as I'd love to pretend I don't care about the way they look, I do care. I'm not loving them, sorry. Should be interesting to see how they fare over the next few months, especially considering I'm definitely on track to gain more weight this time. Apparently, when I was pregnant with Rowan, it not only helped that it was basically my job to exercise, but also that I had a major aversion to candy. That is...not the case this time. Gimme all the Easter candy! Oh, and ALL the (vegetarian) protein. Eggs, nuts, beans, quinoa, peanut butter: gimme.

Right. Ahem. Anyway - it's so surreal to watch my belly bulge and ripple wherever the baby moves. He's even woken me up a couple times when he's partying. Other than that, though, I'm (thankfully) back to sleeping well, which is such a relief after being so sick for a couple weeks there. (Worst sinus infection ever.) Lately, I keep going to bed earlier and earlier. I was asleep before nine last night. If only I could bank those sleep hours for the future! I mean, yeah, they'd be helpful postpartum, but I'm also anticipating that next week will be a little funky. J.J.'s going to be out of town, and the time change always screws with Rowan for a few days. Bleh.

Although - I almost wish we had decided to go with J.J. on his trip. He'll be in Austin to present at South By Southwest (SXSW), and I'm just itching to be somewhere warm. Honestly, what I really wish we'd planned for is a "babymoon" trip. I kind of hate that term - babymoon - but I get really bummed when I realize that we won't ever take a trip as a family of three again. It's been just the three of us for almost four years, and what can I say? I love us. We got a decent tax refund this year (side benefit of having only one, relatively small income), which was initially earmarked for getting the huge trees in our backyard trimmed so they would stop dropping adult-human-sized branches on my tiny children in the summer. Then the upstairs bathroom became something of a priority. THEN two things happened. One, we had that ridiculous windstorm the other day, which dropped a bazillion branches and gave me the (potentially dumb) illusion that any of the remaining branches are unlikely to fall. Two, we got the official estimate for replacing our bathtub back from Lowe's, and LOLOLOL YEAH RIGHT. That's not happening.

I'm researching other contractors to do the installation, but in the meantime, I find myself looking at my tub...and then picturing, say, a little trip to Florida. Nothing too crazy, just a few days at a cheap Airbnb close to a warm beach. I just would love to take Rowan on her first flight ever, to get out of the cold for a few days, to make some memories, and to spend time with J.J. and Rowan before our family changes forever. I'm not trying to sound melodramatic, but I really am kind of mourning the idea of things changing so much. It's a good change, duh. I know. The best kind of change. But still different, you know? Not to mention that it'd be nice to do a vacation like this when things (read: Rowan) are relatively low-maintenance. No diapers, no Pack 'N' Play, no special cups or food or carriers. It's not exactly a solo beach vacay, where I throw a bikini and some flip-flops into my backpack and hop on a plane, but we're just at a low-key, easygoing place right now, all things considered.

Also. I know this is a little silly, but part of the reason I wish we could do a special trip with Rowan is that I just want to be able to soak her up while she's still my only one. It's hard to describe what I'm feeling about making her a big sister. Mostly, I'm thrilled beyond measure and feel so fortunate that we can introduce this new role into her life, this whole other way of loving and being loved. On the other hand? It's going to be hard to watch her struggle through this transition - and I know there will be times when it's a struggle. All for the greater good, of course. I don't know, I just want to play in the sand and the sun with my girl and my partner in crime and have a fun, stressless good time together. *Clicks back over to the Airbnb website*  *Pretends that it's okay to fly during the third trimester*  *Ignores financial responsibilities*

Plus, as much as I love this whole Batman phase, there are some summer clothes I'm dying to get this one into...

For the record, right after this sweet photo, she turned around and called, "Now take a picture of my bottom! Hahaha!!"

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