Wednesday, April 15, 2015

nine things keeping me awake right now.

1. This pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream. Yes, I bought it earlier tonight. What?

2. Trying to figure out why all of these items are on the same washcloth. Just when you think you've cracked the code, a nonconforming item appears. Animals? Nope, there's a star and an anchor. Things found in the sea? Nope, there's a star and a squirrel. Things that might possibly be gray? Nope, there's a star. Things that were trendy in 2013 children's textiles, like woodland creatures and pirates? Nope, there's a frog and a turtle. I GIVE UP.

3. 19 Emojis All Thirtysomethings Wish Existed. (And the subsequent Buzzfeed black hole.)

4. The fact that my bed is so far away right now...and the overwhelming prospect of taking out my contacts and brushing my teeth.

5. Realizing I inadvertently threw my shirt from yesterday into the laundry, restarting the vicious cycle of: finding the t-shirt in the back of the closet; rejoicing and feeling smug about being thrifty by "shopping" in my own closet; wearing the shirt all day; looking down during dinner and discovering noticeable hole, which is the reason I hadn't worn it in so long; tossing the shirt in the laundry after forgetting about hole; washing and rehanging shirt; occasionally noticing it and remembering the hole, but neglecting to get rid of the shirt; and, finally, rediscovering the shirt after about a year and thinking, "Omg, THIS shirt! I LOVE this shirt! What's it doing all the way back here?!" Aaaand it starts again.

6. My new harebrained craft venture: making baby mobiles and opening an Etsy store and then POOF I'm a millionaire, suckas! Bahahahahaha.

7. Trying to figure out why Rowan is waking up earlier and earlier, both in the morning and from her naps, which makes both of us tired and cranky.

8. Realizing that #7 suggests I should've gone to bed at least an hour ago.

9. But I've already blown my chance at seven hours of sleep, so...challenge accepted, Buzzfeed: How well do I remember the lyrics to 90s cartoon theme songs

(Seven out of nine, baby.)

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