Sunday, March 13, 2016

a week without candy.

I decided today that I need to lay off the candy.

*insert all the crying emojis here*

My love for candy is legendary. Historically, I've had zero desire to give it up, because...why? Candy is beautiful. Delicious. Amazing. Perfection. Plus, you know, life is short. And this time of year - Easter candy season - is the annual pinnacle of my candy-consuming cycle.

But, real talk. Plowing through three bags of candy a week is not okay. Not only is that just a shit ton of sugar, it's not good for the wallet, either. Honestly, I never thought I'd be able to give up candy (mostly because I had no motivation to), but something changed in the last couple months. My kidney scare was a swift kick in the ass, reminding me that I can't just treat my body like crap and expect it to remain awesome...or even functional. (And in that sense, damn, do I miss my twenties.) So in the time between my initial nephrology appointment for the Mysterious Pee incident and my follow-up appointment four weeks later, I completely kicked my Cheez-its habit. I know. I KNOW. Also? I kicked my soda habit. Basically, I'd been sitting down during every nap and after dinner every day and hoover up massive amounts of sodium, sugar, and caffeine - and little by little, I stopped. 

Conveniently, though, this was when all the stores started carrying Easter candy, so I just sort of switched out one vice for another. Half a bag of Cadbury Mini-Eggs? Don't mind if I do! Another handful of Bumpy Nerds? Why the hell not?!

Why not? I guess because while, yes, life's too short to deprive myself of treats, it's also too short to keep punishing my system like this. Aside from my snacking habits, I generally eat healthily. I don't eat out very often, I almost never have fast food, and the meals I prepare at home are full of whole, real ingredients. I'm also vegetarian, which can be super unhealthy if done incorrectly, but I'm smart about it. All in all, if I weren't eating so much junk, my diet would be awesome.

So, that's it. I'm going to try a week with no candy. I chose a week as my starting point partially because I wanted to see if I could do it, and partially because I think I need to go cold turkey. This is NOT, mind you, a week with no sweets at all. I'm not planning to embark on an orthorexia journey. Come on, J.J.'s birthday is on Thursday. What kind of wife would I be if I didn't help him eat his cake? But I'd like to see what a week without candy would be like.

Maybe I'll cave this evening. Maybe I'll cave during nap on Wednesday. Maybe I'll make it all the way through Friday night. Maybe I'll cave once and then get right back on the wagon. Who knows? It's worth a try, right? Hopefully I don't transform into a raging sugar-craving bitch within a couple days.

And if I do, I can always schedule another emergency trip to Washtenaw Dairy, like Rowan and I did this afternoon. J.J. had to work all weekend, and I needed a reset after nap today. I thought Rowie would get a kick out of having a donut date, and she totally did. She loved surveying the donut display, and she went right for the one with sprinkles. But - it was her first donut since the fall, and she didn't know quite what to do with it at first.

No worries. She got the hang of it pretty quickly.

After she finished, she jumped in all the puddles on the way back to the car...

...and promptly lost her shit when her "one more minute" of puddle-splashing was over. Ahh, nothing like hauling a sticky, dripping wet toddler to the car and shoving her in as she writhes and screams, "One more minute, Mama! Just one more minute, pleeeeeeease!" Eh. It was hard to summon sympathy for a kid who just had a donut-and-puddle adventure.

Anyway. We'll see how my week of no candy goes. I didn't even get rid of the candy that's currently in our house, so maybe this is going to end extremely quickly. I mean...what if the Cadbury Mini-Eggs get lonely?


It's been less than an hour since I posted this. It sucks already. What am I supposed to do while I watch Walking Dead?!? *more sobs*


  1. You are a brave, brave woman. And if you need someone to "take care" of the candy currently stored in your home, I volunteer as tribute.

    1. Thanks, but I think it's important that my candy understands I'm not abandoning it entirely.



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